National Emergency
by ResidentPyromaniac
Summary: Of course it was America's idea. This sort of thing always was. And now there were seven nations wandering around a comic convention, and nobody had any idea what they'd gotten themselves into. Pure crack. Warnings inside. You will need them.
1. Bad Ideas

**Disclaimer and Warnings: ** I don't own Hetalia. This is going to be complete, total crack. It includes a shameless self-insert, including friends. There will be cursing. There will be perverted humor. There will be humiliation of just about everyone. Especially Canada. Nothing personal, Canada.

Reviews are appreciated. Flames will be used to roast marshmallows for s'mores. I like waffles.

**Another thing: **Oh, jeez... I completely did not realize that the lines that separated the different sections mysteriously vanished. Sorry about that.

* * *

_Ring_

_Ring_

_Ring_

_Ring_

_Ring_

_Ri-_"What the bloody hell do you want, you git?" England snapped upon answering the phone. Honestly, he could have sworn that America intentionally called whenever he was trying to get work done.

"Hey, Iggy! Guess what!" America's voice boomed through the phone, nearly deafening the poor British nation. Without even waiting for a response, he continued. "So, I've gotten tickets and hotel rooms for Connecticon 2011. Isn't that awesome?!"

England stared blankly at the wall, trying to decide on what to say. He settled for cursing into the phone and hanging up, before turning back to his work. Hopefully he could get much more done before –

_Ring_

"What is it now?" England asked, knowing that America never really understood the idea of someone hanging up on him.

"Mr. Kirkland, I was asked to call to see when those papers would be done." England groaned and hit his head on the desk. Of course it was some low-level government official, probably sent to call him because the Prime Minister didn't want to get cursed again. England could get a bit grouchy when he had a lot of work.

"Soon," England said. "Sooner if I could get off the phone and get back to it." With that comment, he hung up the phone again. Now that those annoying distractions were out of the way-

"HEY IGGY!"

Of course, it was just too much to ask for a bit of peace and quiet now and then, wasn't it?

* * *

"Heavy~" Katie groaned, dropping her suitcase and flopping face-first onto the hotel room bed. She was soon followed by her friends Bethany, Ravi, Emily, and Natalie. Katie had often complained about the irony of all of their names ending with the same sound, dubbing it "irritating". Forcing herself to sit up, she looked at the others, who were also setting their suitcases and various bags around the room. "Okay," She said, thinking out loud. "I'm the most convention-savvy person in the group, followed by Ravi."

"What? I've never been to a convention before," Ravi said, confused.

"You're a Ren geek, though, and those fairs are pretty darn close to conventions," Katie explained her logic. "Point is this," she gestured about the room. "Two beds. Two people per bed. Five people in the room. Who's going to be taking the sleeping bag on what night?"

"Not me," Natalie jumped in. She and Bethany were the only two people wearing parts of their costumes, Katie deciding to put hers off until the convention started and Ravi and Emily not wanting to explain to curious bystanders. She was dressed as Sealand from Axis Powers Hetalia, except the wig and binding. Overall, she looked like a female Sealand with waist-length brown hair. Bethany was dressed as a casual Canada, but it would have been impossible to tell if she hadn't told you. She looked more like a girl in a red t-shirt and capris holding a stuffed bear. Katie had already explained that she was holding all wigs hostage until the convention actually started. She didn't want to have to fix any of the styling before it began.

"Shouldn't we just draw straws or something?" Emily suggested, being one of the more logical ones in the group. That wasn't to say that she couldn't act crazy when she wanted to, she just tended to see more practical solutions to things.

Katie shrugged. "I would have suggested fighting for it, but I guess that makes more sense."

Bethany and Ravi both stared at her with I'm-not-entirely-sure-if-you-were-being-serious expressions. Emily and Natalie had long ago decided to just tune Katie out when she started talking like that.

"Can I get my wig for standing in line?" Bethany asked, eager to join in on the fun as soon as possible. "I mean, it technically counts as being at the con, right?"

"I don't think so…" Ravi said before Katie could answer. Katie flashed a grin towards Ravi in silent thanks for sparing her from having to sound grouchy so soon.

Natalie jumped around, also a bit overexcited for the convention. "Come on, let's get in line! We need to get our tags or registration things or whatever they're called!"

Kate shrugged. "Fine. We can debate the sleeping-bag thing in line."

* * *

"I'm not so sure about this…" Canada said, barely audible. It wasn't unusual for America to try to convince him to help with some crazy plan of his, but this was even crazier than usual. "You mean… you want me to go with you to a convention… dressed as myself?"

America grinned and clapped his quiet little brother on the back. "That's exactly what I'm saying! Really! People don't realize that that Hetalia comic thing that Japan's been doing is actually based on _us_. They won't catch on! And we'll be the most epic and awesome Hetalia cosplayers at the con!"

Canada frowned slightly. He knew that the comic had gained quite a lot of popularity in recent years, but he didn't think it would be a good idea to blatantly go as himself. Especially since, as America had told him, the convention that they would be attending was a rather small one.

"Please, Matt? I've already gotten Iggy to agree…" America pleaded, making a sad face at him. Canada sighed. Once his brother got an idea in his head, it could be more trouble than it was worth getting him away from it. And this idea wasn't one that he could see having too serious repercussions, unlike some.

"…I guess…"

* * *

"Oh my gosh, it's Sweeney Todd!" Natalie squeaked, looking around at the other people in the pre-registration pick-up line. Kate tuned her out, pretty sure that exclamations like that would become extremely common in the next few days. Ravi and Emily were also looking around with interest, but with fewer squeals. Bethany stood near Kate, holding the polar bear plush that would be Kumajirou for the next few days to her chest.

Kate glanced at Bethany. "You do realize that you're going to fall horribly out of character really soon?"

Bethany gave Kate a confused look. "What do you mean?" She asked, trying to speak as quietly as possible while remaining audible.

Kate grinned. "I see another Hetalia group at three o'clock. Germany, Prussia, and Austria."

"Germany where?!" Bethany squealed, looking around. Once she saw them, she tried to run off, only to be restrained by Kate.

"Sorry, Star," She said, using the other girl's online nickname. "But they're really strict about the lines here. You get out of line, you have to get to the end." Bethany pouted slightly, but stayed in place, settling with waving towards the others. The Prussia noticed her waving and waved back energetically, but the Germany was looking in a different direction.

"Oi, East! Get West's attention!" Kate shouted towards the other group, having no problem with shouting across the convention floor. The Prussia laughed a bit at her attitude, recognizing her as a fellow Hetalia fan, and tapped Germany on the shoulder. When Germany looked in their direction, Kate called, "Look for a hero and family tomorrow, okay?" She asked, before pointing to Bethany and adding, "Watch out for this one. She might go fangirl on you."

"Absolutely!" The Germany called back, clearly not trying to stay in character. "I will beware of Canada!" There was some scattered laughter through the line from people who had heard the exchange, as well as some laughter between the two Hetalia groups.

* * *

"Ve, America!" Italy called through the phone line once the other nation picked up.

"Italy!" America responded happily. He actually got along pretty well with the pasta-loving nation. "What's up?"

"Ve, I heard that you were going to a comic thing of sorts," Italy said, sounding as chirpy and happy as usual.

America grinned. He had probably heard it from England. "Yeah, I am. You coming with?"

"Can I bring Germany?"

America paused for a moment, thinking. He wasn't too sure about Germany – the two nation's personalities were a bit too different for them to be good friends – but… he could probably just lose him at the Artist's Alley or something. "Sure, whatever."

"Then I'm going!"

* * *

"About time," Emily said as the group left the line with their convention passes and headed back to their hotel room. "I'm pretty sure that my feet were falling asleep from just standing…"

Kate nodded. "Agreed. But at least we've found other Hetalians to hang with tomorrow."

"Hetalians?" Natalie asked, confused. She didn't actually follow the series, and was only being Sealand for the group and from a short description.

"People who like Hetalia," Ravi explained. "Otherwise known as crazy fans. Which most of the fandom is. Do you think that Germany actually follows it?" She added, as an afterthought.

"I don't know…" Kate said. "He knew Star was going to be Canada from her holding a polar bear, so he might. Then again, he could have gotten an equivalent of what we did to Natalie. Like, he knows the basics, but he wouldn't get what I was talking about if I referenced the five meters."

Ravi squeaked and turned a bright red. "You said you wouldn't mention that!"

Kate grinned. "No I didn't, I said I _might_."

"Well…" Ravi sputtered a bit. "FLORIDA."

Kate groaned and hit her head against the nearest wall. "You're mean!" Bethany blushed slightly and hid her face behind Kumajirou, not entirely sure how her friends could just talk about such things so loudly in public. Emily just rolled her eyes, used to the Ravi-Katie dynamic. Natalie just looked confused.

"Let's just say, Natalie," Bethany explained to Natalie. "_I _didn't want to know. But they told me anyway."

"…Oh."


	2. Seeing Double

**Note:** Guess what! I still don't own Hetalia! Also, there are fangirl attacks ahead. Be warned.

* * *

"Wakey, wakey everybody!" Katie shouted as loud as she dared, walking out of the bathroom in full costume. The other occupants to the room grumbled in response. "I'm sorry, that's what you get for being friends with a morning person," the girl continued, checking her hair in a nearby mirror to make sure Nantucket was still there. "Also, the sooner we all get up and moving, the sooner we can hit the floor."

"I'm already _on_ the floor," Bethany complained, having gotten the sleeping bag for that night.

Katie rolled her eyes. "I mean, the sooner we're up, the sooner we get to the con." After a moment, she added, "And the sooner you can be Canada."

"…I'm up."

* * *

"This is going to be awesome! Come on, let's hit the road!" America yelled at England's door. "You can't just lurk around in there forever, you know!"

"Go away, you bloody git! I'm not going!" England's slightly muffled reply came back. "This is just another one of your idiotic ideas that's just going to get us all in more trouble that we need! And we don't need any goddamn trouble, to just go away!"

"Awww, Iggy… Why are you such a killjoy?" America complained. No response came, and the nation started banging on the door of England's house. It was a good thing the nation lived in a somewhat isolated area, so he didn't have to worry about neighbors.

"L'Amérique, you do realize that is not going to help?" France stood a few feet away, arms crossed casually over his chest. America looked back, confused. "You and I both know how stubborn L'Angleterre can get."

"So… You're going to the con too?" America asked, trying to get at least one thing cleared up.

France grinned. "Of course I am! I have only ever been to conventions in my own country, but I am certain that yours can be just as… interesting."

America scowled slightly, wishing that he didn't know what the other nation was talking about. "Okay, fine. But you've got to help me get Iggy to leave his house."

"Naturellement." France walked smoothly up to England's door and called through the heavy wood. "L'Angleterre, if you do not come with us, then I will be forced to tell about…" France never got to finish his sentence. The door slammed open, revealing a very irritated and embarrassed-looking England.

"All right, I'm going. But only to keep you two gits out of trouble."

* * *

"Katie, can you give me a hand with the makeup?"

"One of my eyebrows is missing!"

"I need another pin here!"

"Shut up, if I can breathe like this, then you shouldn't have any trouble!"

"Where'd Kumajirou go?!"

Katie inhaled deeply. She reveled in the pre-Convention chaos, despite hating it just about everywhere else. Somehow, the sounds of the five girls yelling at each other only assured her that everything was running smoothly. And anyway, they were going as the characters often dubbed "the dysfunctional family" by Hetalia fans. In a way, they already were a bit of a family. And a bit dysfunctional.

It didn't take long for the last few bumps in the road to cosplay to be smoothed out. Ravi located her other eyebrow, the stuffed polar bear was found, Natalie's hair was finally corralled underneath her wig, and Emily was made up to look properly scruffy. "All right, are we ready to move out?" Katie asked, looking around at the others.

"Yeah."

"Sure."

"Woo-hoo!"

"I'm good."

"Awesome! Let's go and astound everyone with out amazingness!" Katie turned to walk out of the hotel room door. "But I refuse to take the elevator. I'll catch up with you guys at the floor, okay?"

"Really, Katie," Ravi said as they trailed out of their room. "For someone who's such an adrenaline junkie, how can you be afraid of _elevators_, of all things?"

"I know it's irrational!"

* * *

Eventually the nations – America, England, Canada, France, Italy, Germany, and Prussia (who had insisted that he should come along to 'let everyone bask in his awesomeness') – stepped onto the floor of the convention. France immediately separated from the group to talk to a woman dressed in what appeared to be an armored bikini, to nobody's surprise. Italy heard some people mention something called 'Artist's Alley' and immediately ran off to investigate, dragging Germany with him. America, Canada, England, and Prussia stayed together as a group.

A few people commented on the group's 'costumes' as they passed by, and more than a few stopped to compliment them. Canada felt uneasy with all the attention, but Prussia and America enjoyed it. A few people stopped to talk to England, and he had to explain that he was just dragged along for the group.

"Have no fear, the hero has arrived!" America turned to see where the shout had come from, only to see someone dressed almost exactly like him storming into the convention through the side doors that attached to the hotel. The America cosplayer stopped a few feet into the convention and looked around, seemingly searching for someone. "…Damn, I think I lost them…" He finally said, before noticing the group of nations. "…Double damn, I think we just got upstaged!"

"Who's we?" America asked curiously. The look-alike shrugged.

"Me, a Canada, a really short France, an England, and a really tall Sealand who has no idea what she's gotten herself into," he said, counting off on his fingers. "They came here with me but I think I lost them…" After a moment's hesitation, he added, "You all look awesome, did you know that?"

"Of course I'm awesome!" Prussia declared. Canada shrank back slightly. America grinned, saying something along the lines of 'a few people mentioned it', and England scowled. The America look-alike stared at them for a few minutes.

"Okay, I correct myself," He said. "You guys are awesome. Hey, you don't mind if I just hang out with you guys until I find my group, right?" Receiving no negative response, he said, "Great!"

America gave the cosplayer a curious look. "You aren't doing a half-bad job at being America yourself, you know?" The cosplayer blinked confusedly through his glasses for a minute, and then laughed.

"Actually, I haven't been trying to act like him," He said. "I guess I'm just like that naturally. Which is weird, because some quiz thing I took said that I was most like Austria. And I was like, double-you, tee, eff, because really?" The cosplayer suddenly turned to Canada, who had been lurking nearby. "Why so invisible?"

Canada blushed at the sudden recognition. "What?" He asked.

"Wait, the quiz said that you were most like specs?" Prussia asked, staring at the cosplayer.

"Pff, I know, right? I mean, I could understand if it said I was most like Hungary or something, but… I don't get it." The cosplayer seemed to completely forget that Canada was there. "But, whatever. I'm here, and being the second most awesome character in the series."

Before any of the nations could respond to that, the America cosplayer got tackled by what appeared to be an extraordinarily tall Sealand. "Jeez, Katie, don't go wandering off on us like that!"

"AAARGH don't tackle me!" the America cosplayer squeaked in a most un-manly way. The tall Sealand was soon joined by a rather short France cosplayer, a rather tall England cosplayer, and a rather amused-looking Canada cosplayer. "What took you guys so long?" the America cosplayer asked the group.

The nations, on the other hand, were a bit distracted by something else. England was the first to speak on it. "Katie? You're a _girl_?!"

"What? Oh, yeah, you didn't notice?" Katie turned and stared at the confused nations. "Great, that means I'm doing it right!"

"Before you ask," the England cosplayer addressed the group. "Duct tape. Well… duct tape for Katie and me, ace bandages for them." Prussia snickered. The group's France looked embarrassed.

"Oh my gosh, it's that Sweeney Todd guy again!" The Sealand cried, and ran off to talk to the unsuspecting cosplayer.

"Hey," the Canada cosplayer said to Canada.

"Oh, um… Hello…" Canada replied to his look-alike.

"Why are you so grouchy looking?" the France cosplayer asked England.

"I got dragged here by _those_ two idiots," England said.

The France cosplayer shrugged. "Well, you'll find something interesting, I guess."

"So, you understand the awesomeness that is Prussia?" Prussia asked the group's England. The cosplayer rolled her eyes and pointed to the America cosplayer.

"Blame her."

"What did I do now?" the America cosplayer asked.

"Ve, ve! The artists here are really good!" Italy called to the other nations, bounding into the numerous conversations, dragging Germany with him. The Canada cosplayer immediately abandoned her conversation with her counterpart and latched onto Germany with a squeal. Germany, on the other hand, looked somewhat mortified. The America cosplayer sighed and walked over to her friend, dragging her back.

"Bad Bethany!" Kate scolded, lightly slapping the Canada upside the head in a playful manner. "What did I tell you about con etiquette? You don't go tackling people like that!" Turning to Germany, she said, "Sorry about her. Fangirl moment."

"But Katie! You have fangirl moments too!" Bethany complained, but didn't seem prone to tackling Germany again.

Katie laughed. "Of course I have my fangirl moments! But they tend to be more like this." Turning around to face Prussia, she asked, "May I tackle you?"

Prussia's brow furrowed slightly in confusion. "Uh… sure?"

"Yay!" The America jumped onto Prussia, pulling him into a tight hug before pulling away. "See, Bethany? That's how you're supposed to do it."

The nations stared at the cosplayers in bewilderment. The group's England was the first to speak.

"I'm hungry."

"Oh! Right! Food!" The America cosplayer said, grinning sheepishly. "See, this is what conventions do to me. I forget to eat. Come on," She added, walking off. The other cosplayers followed her.


	3. Splitting Up: Shopping with England

**Note/Disclaimer:** I don't own Hetalia. Also, this was written for the greater amusement of myself and my friends. So I have no claims of quality here.

* * *

The girls had been a bit too lazy to walk several blocks to the nearest fast-food place for food, choosing instead to snacks from the cafeteria area of the convention. "So," Emily asked, sipping a hot chocolate. "What are we going to do?"

"I don't know," Katie said through a mouthful of muffin. "Look at the program to see if there's anything interesting. Or we could just wander around aimlessly for a while. I kind of want to go shopping."

Ravi and Emily leaned towards each other, both reading the program. "Hey, there's a panel on making costume armor in about half an hour!" Ravi said. Emily also seemed intrigued about the idea.

"I think I'll look for Germany again," Star said, munching on a bagel.

"You mean stalk him!" Natalie butted in, amused at seeing the usually quiet one being the fangirl for once.

Katie sighed. "You know… we might as well split up. I mean, we all have cell phones, so we can call each other if we need it. And we can cover more of the con that way." She paused for a second. "But I don't trust Natalie wandering around on her own -"

"Hey!"

"– so she should probably go with one of us." Katie finished, ignoring Natalie's interruption and sipping her coffee with a grin. "No offense, darlin'," she said, lapsing into an extraordinarily fake southern drawl, "But you really are the most likely one to go squealin' and runnin' off after some random guy." A moment's pause, and then she added in a more normal tone, "Well… Bethany would probably go off and stalk any Germany she sees, but… safety in numbers, I guess."

Bethany grinned sheepishly. "Well… Germany _is_ my favorite character."

"We know," most of the table said in unison.

* * *

England wandered aimlessly around the convention, having lost his patience for dealing with America _and_ Prussia acting like "a load of bloody gits", in his own words. A few people stopped him to ask for pictures or compliment his 'costume', which he just went along with. After all, he wasn't the only "England" in the convention, so America had probably been right about nobody knowing it actually _was_ him.

…Not that he'd ever admit that out loud.

And, despite himself, England was starting to actually enjoy the convention. He didn't have to worry about his responsibilities as a nation.

"Hey, Iggy!" Another call caught England's attention. It was annoying, but apparently America's nickname for him had caught on among the Americans who followed the comic series based on the nations. Although, really, he shouldn't have been surprised – they were Americans, after all. Turning to the source of the call, he was a bit surprised to see the America look-alike from earlier.

"Did you ditch the rest of your group or something?" she asked, once she got close enough to hold a conversation in a more normal tone.

"America and Prussia were being stupid," England replied, by way of explanation.

The America-girl (Katie, her name was?) shrugged. "Yeah, well… It's America and Prussia you're talking about. Being stupid is kind of what they do. But I can see how being too in-character could get annoying." After a moment's hesitation, she added, "You don't really seem the convention type… Did you get dragged along for the sake of the group or something?"

England blinked. That was… surprisingly close to the truth, actually. The girl noticed his expression and laughed. "It happens a lot, trust me. I'm guessing you do follow Hetalia, though, because you're doing a really great job at being England." England just nodded. The girl kept talking as she started walking away, clearly expecting the nation to go with her. "Well, my group pretty much just split up to cover more ground. That and we all wanted to go different places. I'm headed to the dealer's room."

"I do follow the series," England said. It made more sense than saying, _Actually, no, I really am the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland_. Trying to keep the conversation from falling flat – although it seemed unlikely, this Katie girl struck him as the talkative type – England continued, "People get dragged along to these things a lot?"

Katie laughed. "Yeah, all the time. Relatives, friends, unsuspecting chaperons... I actually was considering getting one of my friends to go here too, but I've never really been good at talking people into stuff. Which is sad, because he probably would have made for the most epic Russia ever. Aside from actually being a nice guy and all. But that's a bit beside the point, anyway. Huh, David Bowie…" That last comment was said as England and the girl walked into the area that England assumed was the dealer's room. There was some booth in the area that was playing music very loudly. "Sounds like those guys are here again this year."

England didn't mind the music. At least they were playing good songs. The dealer's room was more crowded than he would have expected, and there were several booths within sight selling just about everything from books to candy to DVDs to clothing. Katie seemed to be looking for something specific, so England decided to just stay with her.

"You looking for anything, or are you just hanging around?" the girl asked England, turning to look at him.

"I don't have anything specific in mind," England replied, too used to dealing with America to be annoyed at her way of speech.

Katie nodded slightly, apparently to herself. "Okay then. 'Cause, I've got… about four priorities. Plushies, shiny things, music, and books. Not really in that order, though." When England didn't say anything, she kept talking. "The music people are all a bunch of ninjas, I swear. Last year I couldn't find their booth until the third day of the con, and it's funny because they were pretty much front and center. Plushies and shiny things aren't just one group of people, so they aren't too high on the list. Books!" At that last word, the girl abandoned England to make a beeline for an area with a table absolutely covered in books.

England followed the girl, both annoyed and amused at how easily distracted the girl was. It almost reminded him of a much less irritating Peter. He was surprised to see that the table had actual books in addition to the expected mass of comics. Most of them were science fiction and fantasy, but he could see a few from other genres as well. Glancing over at Katie, he saw that the girl was staring at the comics, looking between two sections with a very intent expression on her face.

"Kuroshitsuji or Hetalia, Kuroshitsuji or Hetalia…" She was mumbling under her breath, apparently unable to decide which to purchase. "Hey, Iggy, help me out here."

"What are you talking about?"

Katie pointed out the two different sets of books. "On one hand, Kuroshitsuji is addictive and amazing. On the other hand, Hetalia is Hetalia… 'Nuff said."

England shrugged, indicating that he wouldn't be any help with the choice.

"Hmm… Hetalia," Katie decided out loud.

An interesting question occurred to England. "It's interesting to think of what it would be like if countries really _were_ people like in that series, wouldn't it?"

Katie stared blankly into space for a second. "I'd move to Canada," She announced, with almost no hesitation. England blinked in surprise, and she laughed. "Okay, probably not, since I really don't want to move too far away from my family. And my mom's side of the family's been here since 1639. Or before, in some cases. So I don't think I'd move to Canada. Plus it's full of Canadians."

"Well, it _is_ Canada."

"My point exactly!" Katie shouted. "It's almost as bad as when I went to France. Bad idea. Really bad idea. Actually, it was pretty cool, but still. I don't speak French. So I felt stupid."

England raised an eyebrow at the girl, but she seemed completely oblivious.

…She was definitely American.


	4. Apologies and farewell

**Hello, everyone.**

**I have decided, on account of a sudden lack of useful ideas, that I am no longer continuing this story.**

**But do not despair. I have passed it on to my dear friend KatelynGibbs to continue it.**

**KatelynGibbs, otherwise known as Ravi.**

**She's pretty cool. Also, she was supplying a lot of the ideas for this anyway, so it's just as well. I guess.**

**ANYWAY.**

**She's going to be continuing National Emergency, but her internet is pretty unreliable. So don't yell at me if she doesn't do it very quickly.**

**We're all cool here, right?  
**


End file.
